TAKING AND LISTENING
What females say:
FEMALES: Now Jo, after you've taken rover(dog) for his walk at six i'd like to fix the broken light in the bedroom and then fix rover kennel also.
What males hear:
MALES: blah blah blah blah blah SEX blah blah blah blah...
The 'Blue or Gold Shoes' Strategy:
If a woman asks 'blue or gold?' when selecting shoes, it's important that a man does not give an answer. Instead, he should ask, 'Have you chosen a pair? Most women are taken aback by this approach because most men they know immediately state a preference. 'Well... I thought I could possibly wear the gold... ' she'll say, uncertainly. The reality is, she has already chosen the gold shoes. 'Why the gold?' he'll ask. 'Because I'm wearing gold accessories and my dress has a gold pattern in it, ' she'll respond. A skilled man would then reply, 'Wow! Great choice! You'll look fabulous! You've done well! I love it!' And you can bet he'll have a great night.
Why Males Can't Talk Proper:
We've known for thousands of years that men aren't great conversationalists, particularly when compared to women. Not only do girls start speaking earlier than boys but a three-year-old girl has nearly twice the vocabulary of a three-year-old boy, with her speech almost 100% comprehensible. Speech pathologists are kept busy with parents bringing young boys in for therapy with the same complaint: 'He can't speak properly. ' If the boy has an older sister, this speech dif- ference is even more noticeable, particularly as older sisters and mothers frequently talk for their sons. Ask a five-year-old boy, 'How are you?' and his mother or sister answers, 'He's fine, thanks'.
On Valentine's Day, florists tell men to 'say it with flowers' because they know that a man finds it difficult to say it with words. Buying a card is never a problem for a man, it's what to write inside that stumps him.
'"Men often choose greetings cards with plenty of words inside. That way, there's less space for them to write'"
Why Women Are Great Talkers:
With women, speech is a specific area located primarily in the front left hemisphere with another, smaller specific area in the right hemisphere. Having speech on both sides of the brain makes women good conversa- tionalists. They enjoy it, and do lots of it. With specific areas to control speech, the rest of a woman's brain is available for other tasks, enabling her to do lots of different things at once while talking.
Why Women Need to Talk:
Male brains are highly compartmentalised and have the ability to separate and store information. At the end of a day full of problems, a man's mono-tracking brain can file them all away. The female brain does not store information in this way - the problems just keep going around and around in her head. Men can mentally index their problems and put them on hold. Women churn.
The only way a woman gets rid of her problems from her mind is by talking about them to acknowledge them. Therefore, when a woman talks at the end of the day, her objective is to discharge the problems, not to find conclusions or solutions.
'"When a man is silent, it's easy for a woman to start feeling unloved'"
women everywhere and they all make one point clear:
'"When a woman is speaking her unused words at the end of the day, she doesn't want interruptions with solutions to her problems'"
Why Couples Fail:
Seventy-four per cent of working women and 98% of non-working women name the biggest failing of their husbands and boyfriends as a reluctance to talk, partic- ularly at the end of the day. Past generations of women never felt this problem because they always had lots of children and other women for conversation and support. Now mothers who stay at home are likely to feel isolated and lonely because their female neighbours are all likely to be at work. Working women have less difficulty with non-talking males because they have been speaking to others during the day. None of this is anyone's fault. We are the first generation to have no suitable role models for successful relationships. Our parents never had these problems. But the good news is that we can learn the new skills required for survival.
What females say:
FEMALES: Now Jo, after you've taken rover(dog) for his walk at six i'd like to fix the broken light in the bedroom and then fix rover kennel also.
What males hear:
MALES: blah blah blah blah blah SEX blah blah blah blah...
The 'Blue or Gold Shoes' Strategy:
If a woman asks 'blue or gold?' when selecting shoes, it's important that a man does not give an answer. Instead, he should ask, 'Have you chosen a pair? Most women are taken aback by this approach because most men they know immediately state a preference. 'Well... I thought I could possibly wear the gold... ' she'll say, uncertainly. The reality is, she has already chosen the gold shoes. 'Why the gold?' he'll ask. 'Because I'm wearing gold accessories and my dress has a gold pattern in it, ' she'll respond. A skilled man would then reply, 'Wow! Great choice! You'll look fabulous! You've done well! I love it!' And you can bet he'll have a great night.
Why Males Can't Talk Proper:
We've known for thousands of years that men aren't great conversationalists, particularly when compared to women. Not only do girls start speaking earlier than boys but a three-year-old girl has nearly twice the vocabulary of a three-year-old boy, with her speech almost 100% comprehensible. Speech pathologists are kept busy with parents bringing young boys in for therapy with the same complaint: 'He can't speak properly. ' If the boy has an older sister, this speech dif- ference is even more noticeable, particularly as older sisters and mothers frequently talk for their sons. Ask a five-year-old boy, 'How are you?' and his mother or sister answers, 'He's fine, thanks'.
On Valentine's Day, florists tell men to 'say it with flowers' because they know that a man finds it difficult to say it with words. Buying a card is never a problem for a man, it's what to write inside that stumps him.
'"Men often choose greetings cards with plenty of words inside. That way, there's less space for them to write'"
Why Women Are Great Talkers:
With women, speech is a specific area located primarily in the front left hemisphere with another, smaller specific area in the right hemisphere. Having speech on both sides of the brain makes women good conversa- tionalists. They enjoy it, and do lots of it. With specific areas to control speech, the rest of a woman's brain is available for other tasks, enabling her to do lots of different things at once while talking.
Why Women Need to Talk:
Male brains are highly compartmentalised and have the ability to separate and store information. At the end of a day full of problems, a man's mono-tracking brain can file them all away. The female brain does not store information in this way - the problems just keep going around and around in her head. Men can mentally index their problems and put them on hold. Women churn.
The only way a woman gets rid of her problems from her mind is by talking about them to acknowledge them. Therefore, when a woman talks at the end of the day, her objective is to discharge the problems, not to find conclusions or solutions.
'"When a man is silent, it's easy for a woman to start feeling unloved'"
women everywhere and they all make one point clear:
'"When a woman is speaking her unused words at the end of the day, she doesn't want interruptions with solutions to her problems'"
Why Couples Fail:
Seventy-four per cent of working women and 98% of non-working women name the biggest failing of their husbands and boyfriends as a reluctance to talk, partic- ularly at the end of the day. Past generations of women never felt this problem because they always had lots of children and other women for conversation and support. Now mothers who stay at home are likely to feel isolated and lonely because their female neighbours are all likely to be at work. Working women have less difficulty with non-talking males because they have been speaking to others during the day. None of this is anyone's fault. We are the first generation to have no suitable role models for successful relationships. Our parents never had these problems. But the good news is that we can learn the new skills required for survival.
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